I am typing this out on my phone, so sorry in advance for any typos. I contemplated not posting anything and just taking the blog down but decided I needed to at least say something as I have a lot of online scrapbooking friends who have been very loyal to me over the years. I had to at least say bye.
My heart just isn't into this anymore. I will always create. Its a part of who I am. But I just can't blog anymore. Everytime I sit down to write a post, I have no words.
You see, things in my life just aren't right now. And wont be until I make it to Chicago. And I am tired of coming here and pretending things are right. I just can't be fake. It's not in me. There are pieces and parts of me that are broken. I have never pretended to be a perfect person or to lead a perfect life. I have stumbled, faltered and fallen along my path. And continue to do so every single day. Thats life. I have made some pretty bad decisions and am no victim. Accepting responsibility for my life and its direction is vital to me right now. Moving forward on a path of healing and making the changes necessary to reach my goal are my priorities right now. I know all of this is very vague. The things going on in my life are very private. And I don't feel the need to elaborate any more. I just need to say that I have things in my life I need to fix. And I wont be whole or right again until i do. No more pretending. Done with that.
Maybe one day I will blog again. Chicago. That's all i can think. Its what I dream of. What I breathe. What I cry for each and every day. I am letting go of mistakes made, forgiving myself, and moving forward. And if and when I do blog again it will be from the windy city. Hopefully deliriously happy and finally at peace with myself and my life. Until then....I wish you all nothing but peace and happiness! You can email me ya know! [email protected]
Love to you all! Blog will disintegrate in a few days. LOL.
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