"I'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?
And if you'd 'a took to me like
Well i'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well."

lyrics from my favorite song ever...."new slang" by the shins.

that song never fails to move me. it's on the soundtrack to garden state...one of my favorite movies ever as well. 

one of my goals this year is to blog more. and to share more of myself and my life. to share my personal journey along with my art. because to me blogging has always been somewhat of a journal as well. 

i can't exactly pin point why it is that i am so excited for this new year. i think it's just a season of change in my life in general. the new year just so happend to coincide with change already in progress. 

i have been through more than i care to remember in the past three years. a lot of it has been the hardest stuff i have ever gone through. it's all been a learning experience to say the least. 

change began to happen for me, when i finally not only realized but started living this truth....life isn't perfect. life is never going to be perfect. there is always going to be some unattained goal, some habit that needs to be broken, some crisis that needs tending to, work that needs to be done...etc.

peace and happiness came when i started being happy....regardless. happiness is a choice. and i can choose to be happy each day knowing that my life isn't where i want it to be. that there is still change that needs to be made, work that needs to be done and goals that have to be met. but enjoying the journey, the in-between, that's what life is made of. for the most part we are always "in between". 

i deserve to be happy. i deserve to protect my personal space. to only allow those that bring joy and happiness to enter my space. i deserve to enjoy my life in the midst of working hard to make it better. i might not be exactly where i want to be in my life right at this very moment. but that's ok. i am getting there. and in the meantime, counting my blessings and loving my rather simple life. 

that's why i am so excited for this new year. that's why i am so excited about life in general. because i feel that now that i am finally living in the light of that truth, that true change can happen. that by simply relaxing and taking things day by day i am giving myself back energy that used to be directed towards stress and negativity and redirecting it where it should be. the present moment. and i find myself a whole lot happier because of it.

so back to the shins... if you haven't heard "new slang"...you so should. as natalie portman said in garden state..."You gotta hear this one song. It'll change your life, I swear."